Tuesday, May 23, 2006
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emotional post
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super emotional post...
for the first time in four years,i felt loved.
you're supposed to feel it everyday,but i'd refused it till after the greatest fight with my parents yet.
why?
rewind to four years back.
*the following is figurative conversation.almost none of it happened.*
me:the scene here ain't big enough for the both of us.
anti:truer words than i ever heard before.TEACHERS,FALL IN!
teacher1:gloriosa,generosa!gloriosa,generosa!(i don't need to explain this do i)
teacher2:o quam sancta,quam serena,quam benigna...
quam amoena o castitatis lilium.(o how holy,how serene,how benign...how pleasant o pure lily.)
anti:see?see???
boys:this is a school where the only mother tongue is chinese.and chinese tradition states...
me:but this is now!not old times!
boys:SHUT UP AND LISTEN 'COS THERE'RE MORE OF US THAN THERE ARE CELLS IN YOUR BRAIN!CHINESE TRADITION STATES THAT WE HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO WHATEVER WE WANT!SO WE DO WHATEVER WE WANT!YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BELIEVE OUR EVERY ******* WORD!We hate you both,but we're the only ones who should be allowed to riot here because it's unbecoming of a girl to join our leagues,a stupid one at that who doesn't know how to shut up.SO SHUT!Besides,the teachers endorse her,and she's a PREFECT.(echoes of "prefect" coinciding with the word "perfect")
me:*writes anti-antithesis stuff on textbook cover*
teacher2:*steals book and gives it to teacher1*
teacher2:LOOK!It's...*faints*
teacher1:COME HERE YOU!
me:kyrie,ignis divine,eleison!(o lord fire divine,have mercy!)
teacher1:NO.You should be ashamed of yourself for cursing at one of the people in your cohort,particularly one who is *rattles off all the traits of a disney princess*.
me:but that's not...
teacher1:LISTEN TO THE TEACHER.Now don't do this anymore or I'll call your parents.
anti:*wins prizes* *lauded by teachers*
anti:the town ain't big enough for the two of us!you couldn't be more right!GET.
me:Tomorrow,
Tomorrow,I love ya,
Tomorrow,you're only a day away.
anti:*crushes tomorrow with finger*
me:*shrinks*
me:Don't it feel like the wind is always howlin'?
Don't it seem like there's never any light?
Once a day don't you want to throw the towel in?
It's easier than puttin' up a fight!
And that is how I shut myself away in a room akin to Rapunzel,never letting my hair down for those who wished to climb in,even to clean my grimed tower.
Yes,my parents were right when they said I only fought with them 'cos I never wanted love.I hated trust 'cos it never worked,hated love 'cos it brought endless pain,no longer believed,like i would children my own age.
Thus I grew into a world where I was its only inhabitant.
Its walls were strong,its walls were thick.
Its walls could never fall.
Or so I thought.
Because there it went last night.
I'm proud to say I kicked them off.
In short...
The Iron Maiden has crumbled.
And with the Iron Maiden image went my inability to feel.And to cry.
On a separate note,this is the last session of ELDDS for the sec 4s.
I'm gonna so miss them.
It was like this guy from Naomi-san's school.
He lost his left arm to cancer when he was about ten.
The day before the amputation there was a farewell party for his left arm.
And he told his mum when it was close to midnight...
"I wish this moment would never end."
exeunt character, 12:06 AM
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